Saturday, November 10, 2012

Well I've been afraid of changing....cause I've built my life around you


The process of coming to accept what has happened to me has been and still is like ripping the bandage off of a fresh wound. This is the only way I can explain I recently experienced this with my 'nephew.' Last weekend when he was at his dad's house he fell and skinned his elbow pretty badly. He needed to take the bandage off....and as I peeked under it, I could see that his elbow was still bleeding. In that moment, he was terrified of the prospect of pain to follow ripping the bandage off of his cut. It took lots of coaxing, heavy breathing and reassurance that everything would be okay...but we finally got the bandage off with warm water and minimal tears. If anything, it was more a mental strife than a physical one--despite the fact that both, at the moment, seemed equally distressing.

As I continue to try and live in the stage of acceptance, I find myself taking two steps forward, and ten steps backwards. However, I'm finding more and more that I'm tiring of myself and so are others. Thus making me feel more foolish for feeling sad.

Stay tuned.

1 comment:

  1. Is it harder for you to accept what has happened to you our that you no longer have him? If you are sad that you are 25 and starting over don't knew where you will be at this time next year, that us nothing to be sad about...that's a wonderful opportunity to make your life what you want it to be. You are only 25. How often are you sad that you don't have him and how often are you sad that you are alone? I don't think you actually think about him that much...but what do i know? Anyway, i think you are doing much better, forget him be mad at him for "doing this to you" but use this opportunity to make your life what you want it to be and don't let anyone else dictate it.