Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Black Cats, Broken Mirrors and Bad Luck

a : a force that brings good fortune or adversity
b : the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual
: favoring chance; also : success <had great luck growing orchids> 
Definition courtesy of
From a young age, the concept of luck is something that sort of sticks with us.  We might be lucky if we're chosen to be the first in line to get lunch, or lucky that we got an 'A' on a test--and didn't even study.  In adulthood, we might be lucky to have the opportunity to attend a university or lucky to have not gotten caught drinking underage at a party.  Hell, some women might consider themselves lucky to have gotten their period this month (and yes, I apologize for being so crude); however the point here--being that luck means something different for all of us.

With luck comes superstition, which is extremely interesting to me--because we all have our 'thing' to be leery of.  If you're somewhat superstitious, then you know, and can believe that perhaps one event might cause or lead to another event without scientific rhyme or reason.  These events, contradict even the most logical of explanations.  Well, maybe that is a bit dramatic; however---I can phrase it in a different way for you more simple minded, and less superstitious folks.  Sometimes, shit happens--and there is no real reason for it. 

The origin of superstitious thoughts is unknown. Nevertheless, there are many superstitious thoughts that often resonate with us all today--both religious and folkloric in nature.  Some refuse to open an umbrella inside, walk under a ladder, break a mirror or cross the path of a black cat.  Others post crosses over their front door in order to protect them from evil.  Whatever you believe, there's obviously a reason for it.  Maybe it's something that has been instilled in your mind from childhood; perhaps something happened to you in the past that has caused your superstitions to really escalate.  For example, I refuse to wear a necklace that I wore the day Francesca passed away.  Call me crazy---but it feels like there is bad 'juju' associated with it.  You and I both know that the pendant did not cause Frenchy's accident.  Yet, I still refuse to wear the necklace.  I wear my cross every single day, now that I've given all the other jewelry back to him.  The fact of the matter is, I am superstitious.  Yet, it doesn't prevent me from living my life, and I think that also because of my superstitions I am able to laugh at some of the situations I have been confronted with recently.  

Last week, I wrote about scars. Well, ladies and gentleman--this clumsy girl is going to have another scar.  We had a work Christmas party last Wednesday.  While I had about 3 beers, I wasn't feeling anything, and was so busy that I didn't have time to 'get crazy.' Not that I had planned to anyway.  Regardless of that, I was running to the back of the stage, to get something that I had left there.  I slipped on some water, and hit my shin on the door jam leading to the back of the stage. First thing I did: looked around to see if anyone had seen.  Ironically, while I was running, I had thought to myself "There is a good chance that I fall over-because that would be just my luck."  I called it, didn't I?  Second thing I did, was sort of did the 'walk it off'.  Third thing I did was think to myself 'Well, that is going to leave a bruise."  As I continued to say goodbye to all of the guests, and talk to people, I felt something warm sort of saturating my pants.  I then looked down, and saw that there was a blood spot where I had hit my shin.  Sure enough, there was a pea sized puncture wound in my leg.  Now, everyone encouraged me to go to the ER, but if you know me--you will understand that I have an intense fear of needles, and anything having to do with the possibility of needle involvement.  So, I went home, and Jimena attempted to butterfly bandage my shin.  

Tis but a flesh wound..............................NOT.

I woke up at 2:30am to a saturated gauze bandage---a sweaty forehead and a queasy stomach.   Thus, I got my wimpy ass out of bed---and went to the ER.  Three stitches, a chastising nurse (about my BP and weight), and an irrigated wound was the result of said visit.  All I could do was laugh at the situation.  Laugh because as I was pouring peroxide into my wound to clean it (pre-ER visit), I screamed to Jimena "I hate insert he who must not be named here."  She retorted with "What does he have to do with this?" I laughed/cried/responded:

Because I blame everything bad that happens on him.

The rational part of me, and those of you who are reading this know quite well that me falling was not his fault.  The pain I feel in my heart, sure.  The pain I feel in my leg a week later, no.  That was my own clumsiness, that just adds to the pain(s) in my ass that I deal with every single day.  So, I will have another scar to add to my battle wounds.  This one will be visible, and will make for a great story when it's healed.  While this particular scar will not define me---it will define and symbolize this time in my life, and the transition I continue to make.  It will heal, as I am going to heal.  It won't be raw forever, but there will always be a shadow of it somewhere within me.  

I won't let it define me, though.

So as you read this, and you think about your own superstitions...and perhaps some of the bad things that have happened to you in the past, are happening now, or might happen in the future---please remember these words of wisdom that I can offer....

Those events will leave scars.  It is an inevitable truth.  However, you don't have to let those events define you.  You can rebuild yourself, get a thicker skin, and grow a new piece of yourself.  Just know, that darkness can't last for too long....even if they are predicting the end of the world on Friday.  Keep loving and laughing---and most of all, keep growing.


No comments:

Post a Comment