Over the summer, I went to a fortune teller at the Bristol Renaissance Faire. Firstly, I’d like to say I have always been a bit leery of this kind of pageantry. Secondly, as an educated human being, I would also like to say that perhaps the odds of these individuals being legitimate in an environment such as the Renaissance Faire are slim. Nevertheless, a week after my birthday, I was feeling like I needed some kind of indication as to what was in store for me. So I took a risk. All day long I told my friends “Guys, I want to see the Palm Reader/Tarot Card Reader/Fortune Teller.”
I paid $20.00. I got ripped off. I waited for 20 minutes until 1 of the 2 ‘Fortune Tellers’ beckoned me to come over. So she set out all of these cards, and started talking:
FT: “Are you engaged?”
FT: “Were you engaged?”
So immediately we can see that this is going nowhere.
I am not even certain where she was going with it, because she sort of dismissed the card after I answered both of those questions.
FT: “Do you have a brother?”
FT: “Oh……well do you have a sister that is sort of a Tom Boy?”
Me: “Well, not really. I mean she likes cars and motorcycles…but owns more pairs of shoes than I do…”
FT: “I see, well she is going to try and make her finances right in the world. She will take on new endeavors that will allow her to make some money.”
**Fortune Teller looks to her right, picks up her cell phone, and begins to text.**
So, at this point, I have heard my sister’s fortune—and the fortune teller is now texting. Great. So she ends abruptly, because she so isn’t in to this. No palm reading. Nothing.
FT: “How was your first ‘fortune telling’ experience?
Me:….pause….sigh…”Well, ummm, I guess what I am wondering is, if I am going to be alone forever.”
The fortune teller takes her cards back out and sort of swishes them around. She flips through them, and pulls one out. I can’t remember what the image on it was.
FT: “You will find a man again, but he won’t be ‘the one.’” (that’s great news…………….)
With that, I get up thank her, and walk away confused.
So there you have it. One week after my 26th birthday, as I continued to feel the pressures of time—I desperately paid money to a fake fortune teller in the hopes that my future will be revealed. I mean, really it was all in good fun for the most part. However, as I was rapidly approaching a year of being single, and the people around me continued to get married, engaged and have babies---I began to feel the clock ticking away.
Time. It's our best friend and worst enemy. From the moment we wake up in the morning until the moment we shut our eyes---our lives are controlled by schedules, alarms and calendar events. Reminders that each moment we experience.....is just as I referred to it: a moment. Time lives by its own rules, and it waits for no man. Whether you like it or not, each day passes with the expectation/obvious fact that every human ages, lives a life and then passes. These are the harsh realities of being human. We live and then we die.
I don’t want to focus on that, though. Although living and dying is part of life; the way in which you play out those fleeting moments is really what makes the life you live. We’re all pressed for time in some way or another. Lately, I’ve kind of been watching the world go on around me. It’s like one of those movie scenes, where the camera cuts to the main character standing in a busy street or on a crowded side walk. The character isn’t moving, but the rest of society hustles and bustles around that person. The person observes, and watches as time passes. Through these observations I have realized and noticed a few things:
· Society often creates schedules and timelines for people to adhere to. Although, I think I am fortunate enough to live in a society that really doesn’t enforce the timelines. Don’t rush life. The good and the bad will happen when they’re meant to happen. That’s just the way the universe works.
· When you want something to come to you quickly---it takes forever. Then, just as soon as it was there, it’s gone.
· Embrace the things that took forever to get to you.
· Make your own schedule(s)….but don’t LIVE by them 100%. Understand that there has to be give and take when it comes to time.
· If you spend your entire life looking at the watch, or the calendar, you might miss something truly fabulous.
· In the infamous words of 38 Special: Hold on loosely, but don’t let it go….if you cling too tightly…you’re gonna lose control.
I know what you’re thinking….more bulleted pieces of wisdom. I guess I was inspired by the personal pressures I was putting on myself to live up to what everyone else is doing. After feeling pretty down about it for a day, I realized that perhaps it just isn’t the right time. Not sure when it will be, or if it ever will be. These are questions that I cannot answer. I thought that maybe my future could be seen through the eyes of someone else. Then I remembered something. The future isn’t meant to be seen. It’s there for a reason. If we knew the future, then we could try to change the outcome of what our path is meant to be. Tempting fate is a very dangerous business. So, I tempt the now, attempting to do whatever it is I see fit in order to make myself happy. Being selfish feels kind of good. Perhaps doing so will open my eyes to the person I am and the person I want to strive to be.